Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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