Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can't put those talents on a resume
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize