I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
