I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
