I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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