party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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