hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
