And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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