it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
