Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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