okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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