They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
