You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize