if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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