K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
