: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
