Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize