So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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