Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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