I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
