I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
