definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
