return my video game
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize