my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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