i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
