I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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