He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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