Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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