Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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