I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
