my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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