You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Can Purell be used as lube?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
