therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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