Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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