My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
