You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
