so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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