I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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