This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
