I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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