Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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