I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
