There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
