We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
