The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
