Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My penis needs a shock collar
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
