try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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