She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
