Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
