Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize