I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
