Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
