would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
