opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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