Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
