I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
How external is "for external use only"?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
