I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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